Hello, my name is Domoina, and this is my testimony.
I grew up as a nominal Christian. I would attend church every Sunday, occasionally listen to worship songs on the radio, and even sing along. I got baptized as a Child because that’s what people do. I didn’t really understand what was going on when I got baptized, but as a kid, I trusted my parents to do what was right for me. I never questioned my belief growing up. I was somewhat religious, but ironically faithless at the same time.
I thought of myself as a good person. I did not smoke, I did not drink, I did not do drugs, I did not go out at night. Some of my classmates got pregnant at 16. In comparison, I was the perfect daughter. I did not realize at the time that I was very judgmental, I was prideful, I was entitled, self-centered, and very resentful.
By the time I got to college, the semblance of faith I had vanished. I ended up agnostic and very uncertain about my value as a person. This led me to become very nihilistic and depressed. If there is no God, what is my purpose in life? I felt like a paper boat floating in the vast sea, drifting more and more into adulthood, lost, unsafe, and alone.
Out of my desperation, I started to seek God. If He is real, He was the only One who could help me. As I read my Bible, I realized how much of a horrible person I was. I was like the Pharisees who thought they did not need Jesus because they were good people.
For the first time, this good person image I had of myself was shattered. And it revealed how judgmental I was. God’s love and mercy for undeserving sinners intrigued me, because I was resentful. The Bible says, Love does not keep records of wrong. If that’s the case, I have never loved anybody in my entire life. Yet, that is what He did. He died on the cross so I can be saved. He loves me despite all my flaws and my arrogance. There is no greater love than that.
Knowing this gave me the courage to come to know Him, despite my unworthiness. And He did not reject me. He showed me who I was, and He healed me of all selfishness, arrogance, resentment, and hatred I was unconsciously carrying with me.
He changed me. He saved me from myself. He turned me into a new person; I am no longer selfish, judgmental, or resentful. He forgave me for hurting Him, so who am I to not forgive those who have hurt me? He loved me when I was unlikable, so who am I to hate others?
I am not supposed to be the center of my universe. Jesus is, because He is worthy. Because of what He died for me, I now have assurance for my eternal future. He is the anchor that keeps me grounded in my identity. I no longer bear my insecurities because I know who I am in Him. I am secure in Him. He is the One who gives me purpose in life. And knowing his faithfulness is what gives me peace.
Since that day, I have wanted nothing more than to live for Him, for the rest of my life. A verse that always reminds me of that faithful day I gave my life to Christ is from Psalm–116:
When I was in great need, He saved me. Be at rest once more of my soul, For the Lord has been good to you . For you O Lord has delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm–116:5-8
He saved me. He changed me. And He can do the same for you.
