Overcoming jealousy: A Christian Perspective

Let me set the scene for you.

You have arrived at the Church Potluck Dinner, and you proudly place your cranberry pie on the buffet table. You poured your heart and soul into preparing it, and you cannot wait for others to try it.

Then you notice Jessica has also arrived. She looks radiant and so slender. Suddenly, the few pounds you’ve lost since starting your diet look like nothing as you stand next to her. On top of that, she has also made cranberry pie! Didn’t she get the memo that you were bringing cranberry pie today?

As people serve themselves, you cannot help but notice that Jessica’s pie is more popular than yours. People even compliment her on her baking skills. Out of curiosity, you decide to try Jessica’s cranberry pie and … Oh no. You feel sick to your stomach as you realize it’s objectively better than yours. You spent so much time researching, testing, and using the best ingredients to perfect your recipe; you thought you had outdone yourself, but alas, your best is not enough compared to Jessica’s.

For some reason, you feel like you are competing with her, and worst of all–you’re losing. With all the work you have done to make the pie, you deserve all the compliments she received; with the strict diet you’ve been religiously following, you deserve to be as slender as she is; and with all the money you have spent on skin care, your skin should be as radiant as hers.

Now you feel an inexplicable anger and resentment towards her. Her mere existence offends you because she is a constant reminder of what you would like to be but are not.

This is jealousy in its purest form.

We’ve all experienced it. It’s a beast that steals your contentment and blames it on someone else.

The subject of our jealousy

Here is what’s strange: the subject of our jealousy is rarely someone with unattainable success. We don’t resent Beyoncé for her talent or LeBron James for his skill, because we instinctively know we are not in the same ballpark as them.

No, this feeling is reserved for our peers: our classmates, our fellow parishioners, the people from the same small town as us. We all had the same start, but somehow they managed to get ahead of us with better grades, better jobs, better lives, better everything.

As a result, this vicious feeling makes us bitter and sours our relationships. Loving your neighbor is harder when you are jealous of them, isn’t it?

The root of jealousy

This is what the book of James has to say:

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. James–3:14-16

James tells us that jealousy comes from worldliness. He even calls it demonic, and he is not exaggerating. It is ultimately a heart issue.

We know it is wrong to resent other people for succeeding in life. We know we should rejoice with them. But our fallen nature wants to compete, compare, and keep score. We do not want someone else to outshine us and make us feel less in comparison.

The irony is that jealousy exposes both our insecurity and our ego.

The success of others bothers us because it makes us question our own worth. Yet, it feels unfair because we somehow believe we are entitled to the same success, recognition, and praise as they are.

The cure to jealousy

Jealousy (envy) is obviously a sin, but how do you stop feeling a feeling? The answer is straightforward– turn your eyes upon Jesus.

Here is the good news: you may not be as good-looking as your sibling, you may not earn as much money as your friends, and you may not own a car as nice as your neighbor; it does not matter because you are precious in the eyes of Jesus.

Yes, He is fully aware of everything that you are insecure about, yet it did not stop Him from chasing you; it did not stop Him from loving you; and it did not stop him from giving His life for you.

As a human, you have an intrinsic value. You are created in the image of God, and He created you for a unique purpose that only you can walk into. You bring something special into this world that no one else can. So, no need to compare yourself with others, because we are all on different paths.

For instance, Daniel and Ezekiel were contemporaries; both were men of God, with their own books in our Bible, but they walked on completely different paths. Daniel served in the Babylonian king’s palace, while Ezekiel lived among captives in Babylonian territory. Still, no Christian thinks that Daniel is more successful than Ezekiel because he had better living conditions.

And yes, someone will always be more talented, more beautiful, more wealthy, more whatever than you are; but remember: when you commit your work to the Lord (Colossians 3:23-24), He is pleased with you.

God is not grading you on a curve. The Christian walk is not about being the best; it is about being faithful. The story about the widow’s offering illustrates this perfectly.

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” Mark–12:41-44

He sees you.

Even when no one else does, He sees you, and it’s all that matters.

You have an audience of One.

There is no need to yearn for success, recognition, and praise because there is no greater success than being a servant of the Most High God; there is no bigger recognition than being a child of God, and there is no greater praise than a “well-done, good and faithful servant”.

Final words

Next time you see Jessica (or whoever stirs up that comparison in your heart), remember: God looks at the heart. He sees your cranberry pie, your effort, and all the difficulties you had to overcome. He sees YOU.

So, whether you are at the Church Potluck Dinner, on social media, or at work, always keep this in mind: you are not there to seek approval from others nor praise for yourself; you are there to please God and glorify Him. This simple Truth will guard your heart from jealousy.